Fluffy Pink Bunny Phobic Valentine
by Dyeh
Summary: Valentines Fic. Sasuke is terrified of Fluffy Pink Stuffed Rabbits, and around Valentines Day, Neji decides that he's going to utilize that phobia and make a Valentines Day that Sasuke will never forget. One sided Neji x Sasuke. R


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... sorry... want a cookie?**

Happy Valentines Day! I don't really celebrate it... but Happy Valentines Day anyway! Did you know that Australian's don't generally celebrate Valentines Day? -Gasp- But... I thought I'd write a Valentines Day fanfiction just for the heck of it... and because I luff the Neji x Sasuke pairing, although this one is one sided. Horray for one-sided fanfiction! Anywho, this is my update for today... horray for updates!

Again, Happy Valentines Day, enjoy, and please review n.n!

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**_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fluffy Pink Bunny Phobic Valentine  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A One-sided Neji x Sasuke Valentine Fanfic_**

It was the time of the year that Sasuke hated the most – for various reasons. The first reason, that was most obvious to the other guys around, was the constant stream of dark chocolate coming his way from various girls from all shapes, sizes and age, and then with the presents came the constant stalking of girls for at least three days afterwards to see which ones he kept – personally, he didn't keep any, cool boys like him didn't keep chocolate. It made him gain 5 kilograms each time he ate it, then he developed obesity again by eating _every single_ chocolate given to him, and then, in a mere week he had to lose his gut. He was _not_ going through that again. And, the other thing he hated about valentines was the fact that everything was pink. No matter where he turned, it was pink this, pink that, just like Sakura's hair! And that drove him to the edge of insanity as it was. And then... there was his number one fear – the ridiculously fluffy pink coloured rabbits. Luckily, nobody had been game to give him one, or he would have seriously freaked, and like many things, Itachi was the reason for this.

Like him, Itachi had been extremely popular with girls, and got most of the treatment that Sasuke got every Valentine Day... there was just a single difference – Itachi had a little, extremely gullible, brother. So, to put his Valentine gifts to good use – surprisingly, Itachi got plenty of fluffy pink bunnies – Itachi would attach his chakra strings to the stuffed animal to make it manoeuvrable, ripped open the seem and stuffed a pre-recorded tape inside a tape player, then stuffed the tape recorder inside the rabbit, attached a chakra string to the play button, then sewed up the seem. Then, he'd sat in Sasuke's cupboard – uncomfortable, one might add – and waited for poor unsuspecting Sasuke to open the door to his room. And then, he'd press play on the tape recorder, and made the rabbit move. Of course, poor Sasuke was petrified, screamed and ran out of the room as fast as his poor legs would carry him. Itachi, then, with an amused look on his face, would disappear with a small 'pop' and a cloud of smoke back into his room. He was never suspected. And, it became like a chore, until poor Sasuke thought the rabbit was stalking him. And, even after Itachi left, Sasuke's mental torture remained where it was.

Unfortunately, this Valentines Day, Sasuke wasn't planning for an unexpected person to discover his little secret.

It had been a normal day, he'd been with Team Kakashi walking the – pink – streets of Konoha, and he'd been ignoring Sakura's rambling on about how "Valentine's Day is the best day in the whole world! And what do you want, Sasuke-kun?" Of course, Naruto had come up with something stupid, and Sakura had thwacked him over the head. Nothing unusual, really. But, there was something that really irked Sasuke, and it happened to be in a shop called; 'Fluffy Toy Haven.' Like all other shops, it was decked out in pink... loads of pink. But, there was a certain pink component that littered the shop that caught Sasuke's eye and almost made him shrink back. Apparently, the year was the year of the Rabbit, and therefore the forte of the year's valentine was pink rabbits – in other words, it was Sasuke's worst nightmare. His first thought was to disappear as quickly as he could, but that would – unfortunately – ruin his perfect reputation with not being afraid of anything. If only he'd known who was watching...

* * *

"Okaa-san." Neji said in a monotone, walking around the corner, looking with distaste at the chosen theme that his Mother had chosen for her novelty toy shop. "What... is this?"

"Neji-kun!" His Mother said happily, brushing some hair back from her face, "It's your Mother's shop, what do you think it is?"

Neji's Mother and Neji couldn't be anything alike – for one thing, Mrs. Hyuuga loved anything that had fluff on it, which would have explained her rather good relationship with the Inuzuka clan. Neji sighed. Sometimes, he wondered why his parents got along like they had... they had been nothing a like. Still, sometimes to live, a child had to put up with their parents strange behaviours – even if that meant having an embarrassing collection of pink, baby blue and light yellow stuffed novelty items that one was too kind to discard.

But... a room full of fluffy novelty stuffed pink rabbits was a bit too much for Neji to handle. "..."

"Ah! So you've seen the merchandise!" It was hard to miss. "Aren't they all so adorable? They sell great too! That boy out there seems to like them." His Mother smiled happily, clapped her hands together, and ducked around the back to get more of the horrible pink items from the storage.

Neji blinked, ducking behind a gigantic pink rabbit and activated his Byakugan. The boy having a staring match with his Mother's shop was Uchiha Sasuke, and if he ever saw Neji in a shop with pink fluffy rabbits – well, the let's just say the consequences made Neji shudder. Neji was a lot like Sasuke in that way, only his reputation mattered, that and his goal. If he had to hide behind a stuffed animal to do that... so be it!

So, Neji started analysing the situation. He'd started analysing it to figure out the best escape route, but something about the Uchiha became pretty obvious – why did Sasuke look like he was ready to run at any moment? And why was he having a staring contest with one of the soft toys? Intrigued, Neji looked closer, noticing vital factors about Sasuke's posture that pointed to one thing – the Uchiha was petrified with everything he saw in the shop. And, this gave Neji an idea... a horrible, horrible evil idea. So, a small smirk on his face, Neji watched as Sasuke followed at a quick pace after Team Kakashi, who by this time were half way down the street, and pretty far away from Sasuke. Neji then stood slowly, and still smirking, walked down to storage. "Oh, okaa-san..."

* * *

Neji wasn't doing this because he _liked_ Sasuke – no it was far from it. Neji didn't get a fuzzy feeling in his stomach when he saw Sasuke, and he only hid from him and was all around un-Neji-ish because he didn't want Sasuke to be seen with him. He was definitely not infatuated with Sasuke, and he was definitely not gay – or so he told himself. And, he also told himself that it was his hate for Sasuke that he had almost all of his Mother's stock of fluffy pink rabbits in his room, sizes ranging from big to small. In fact, his room couldn't get anymore pink, and it was almost blinding.

So, with his pencil moving over the notepad, Neji formulated his master plan that even Uchiha Itachi would admire. There was no way that Sasuke was going to forget this Valentines Day.

* * *

When Sasuke awoke on the 14th of February, he braced himself for the chocolate attacks, prayed to 'Kami-sama' briefly, asking for no pink fluffy bunnies to interrupt his day. He dressed in his normal dark colours, enjoyed the darkness that his house provided, ate breakfast, gelled his hair, brushed his teeth and made his way to his front door. He slipped on his sandals, placed his hand on the door and said good-bye to his sanity. There were 9 out of 10 chances that when he returned that night... it would not be intact.

Indeed, when he opened the door, he was attacked first with a gigantic chorus of; "SASUKE-KUN!"

Fan girls of all shapes, sizes and ages stood crowded around his fence, holding out what looked like about a gallon of chocolate. Sasuke sighed, sweat dropped, stretched, and began his annual Valentine Nightmare, failing to notice the fact that Neji had slipped into his house undetected the night before.

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It was about lunchtime when Sakura finally found Sasuke – he'd spent a majority of the day curled in a ball after receiving a total of five bunnies from various girls. She called; "SASUKE-KUN! WAIT UP!"

Sasuke twitched, stopping in mid step, turning slowly to face the pink terror screaming in his direction, with a rather slapped Naruto hanging on her heels. His first thought was to run, but Sakura had been becoming more and more like Tsunade as of late, and if it was one thing Sasuke didn't want was another Tsunade... oh dear god, running would earn him about 10 missing ribs, not that Sakura would have had the guts to hit him anyway. Wait... now he was confused... But, it was too late for that. He felt her hand on his shoulder.

"HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!" She said happily, moving in front of him, holding out the wrapped present in her hand.

"Sakura-chan... where's mine?" Naruto whined, finally letting go of Sakura's heel, standing up and brushing himself off.

Sakura snapped; "I DIDN'T GET YOU ONE!"

"Aw..."

Never mind Sakura and Naruto... Sasuke was prodding the wrapping paper. Whatever was in the wrapping paper, it was soft. _No,_ he thought, _She couldn't have..._ Twitching, he unwrapped the present, inspecting the inevitable.

Sakura had gotten him a fluffy pink rabbit – and not just any fluffy pink rabbit, this one looked extremely familiar. Sasuke recognised that cold, black stare... he recognised that wobbly stitching...

"You love it! That's great!" Sakura said happily, "I got in an antiques shop. The man said it came from the Uchiha compound, so I thought it might mean something to you." She grinned at Sasuke, who had now had his suspicions confirmed. "Sasuke-kun?"

Yes, Sasuke had gone rigid. The rabbit fell out of his hands, and he emitted a scream that could have been heard through all of Konoha. "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" and ran out of there as quick as anything.

* * *

Back at the Uchiha compound, Neji was getting things ready for his 'Sasuke-Valentine-Prank.' According to Sasuke's schedule (which he'd looked at when he'd arrived), Sasuke should be out until after nightfall, which gave him plenty of time to fix things up. So far, he had most of the pink plush novelties set up in their correct positions, and he was currently trying to get a rather small rabbit to sit up. And, it seemed like an awful lot of trouble for a single prank – but for Sasuke... er... but to see Sasuke's face – yeah, that was right – when he screamed and fainted into Neji's... er... and fainted on the ground was worth it. Irritated, and not noticing the panicked running treads up the driveway, Neji went to raid Sasuke's house for super glue.

* * *

Sasuke yanked the door to his house open, slammed it shut, locked it, and leaned up against it with his eyes closed. The rabbits couldn't get him now – he was safely locked away in his non-fluffy rabbit house... wait... why was everything pink? Frantically, his eyes followed the various outlines of all the different sized pink rabbits that were in his house at the exact moment that Neji poked his head around the corner of the wall, utterly and completely surprised. Quickly, he ducked back behind the corner and activated his byakugan the exact moment that Sasuke fell onto the floor in an almost deathly faint.

Grinning triumphantly, Neji stalked around from behind the corner of the hall, and looked down at the pale, fainted, and roughly breathing Uchiha. He'd been aiming for a heart attack, but he guessed that this was enough. Still grinning, Neji knelt down beside him, examining him at all angles. The entire thing had been worth it. And, as the old saying goes; You always hurt the ones you love.


End file.
